CHITTY-CHITTY-BANG-BANG

Here is one for the self conscience. . lol

2008-07-29T01:38:00.003+01:00

PUBLIC TOILET IN SWITZERLAND

That's made entirely out of one-way glass. No one can see you in there, but when you are inside, it looks like you're sitting in a clear glass box.

Would you use it ?????

A Lesson. . .

2008-07-28T00:37:00.002+01:00

Mildred, the church gossip, and self-appointed monitor of the church's morals, kept sticking her nose into other people's business.

She made a mistake, however, when she accused Frank, a new member, of being an alcoholic after she saw his old pickup parked in front of the town's only bar one afternoon.

She emphatically told Frank (and several others) that everyone seeing it there would know what he was doing.

Frank, a man of few words, stared at her for a moment and just turned, and walked away.

He didn't explain, defend, or deny... He said nothing.

Later that evening, Frank quietly parked his pickup in front of
Mildred's house...walked home...and left it there all night!

You gotta love ole Frank!

It says it all really. . x x

2008-07-27T02:30:00.000+01:00

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Naff Gadgets. . .what the?

2008-07-27T02:07:00.031+01:00

The Handler...This device purportedly opens doors and mailboxes, and turns on taps for you. It also shows you what it would be like to be Captain Hook. Money-saving hint: A clothes hanger will do the same thing. The Handler's website makes a big to-do about nano technology, but we're fairly certain in this case they're using "nano" to mean "not very much." £6 from handlerusa.com.

Wii Fishing Rod...The folks at brando.com.hk claim this little beauty will "enhance the fun of the game," but all it does is fit onto the end of your Wii-mote. Maybe you can use it to hang picture hooks on your crown molding, or fish for the weird goo that collects on top of your fridge. Only £10 to learn what "enhance" means.

The Beer Buggy...At first, a Beer Buggy might make sense if you're thinking about kicking back and getting drunk on the sofa. But once you're really plastered, you'll start to wonder why it's just a two-seater instead of a six-pack minivan. The more you use it, the more likely it is to crash, forcing you to get up to clean up the mess, when less mess was why you bought the thing in the first place. £20 at Spencers.com.

The JooZoo Doggie MP3 Player...The JooZoo uses mp3s to soothe your pet, who probably had a taxing day lying around farting. It comes with 18k gold and diamonds to prove once and for all that your excessive money problem is nothing a solid coke habit wouldn't solve. Available in Korea for only £1,000 suggested retail. If you buy one, you didn't deserve your money in the first place.

Hello Kitty Cash Machine...This toy is great for little girls and fetishists who need practice giving their money to Hello Kitty. We're sure you can also get a Hello Kitty bank account where they'll give you back cash in the form of hearts and baby seal whiskers.£20 from shop.sanrio.jp.

Colour Fusion Shower...Finally, a new age golden shower: Check out this LED that attaches to your shower head and changes color with differing water temperatures. Drag your stereo into the bathroom and remember what it was like watching Orbital in the rain at Glastonbury.£55 (Japan only) from seihin-world.com.

Try this one for size. . Clue: It makes you fart though apparently is very good for your heart. Now I fancy some on Toast

2008-07-26T06:57:00.001+01:00

provided by flash-gear.com

These poor dogs. . Again owners with more money than sence. . .

2008-07-25T07:21:00.001+01:00

A friend of mine sent this one to me. . .

2008-07-24T04:42:00.004+01:00

I didn't even know they did this.!!!!!!!!! Time to grab the neighbour’s cat and get busy!!

Some of the paint jobs cost $15,000 and had to be repeated every 3 months as the cat's hair grows out. Must be nice to have $60,000 a year just to keep your cat painted!!

And people wonder why cats sometimes attack their owners.

GUESS THE POOCHE. . .Guessing by their faces though...it says it all for the way they feel about their costumn. Poor Pets.... . .

2008-07-23T19:03:00.003+01:00

CHEER-LEADER..
SUPER HERO..(no idea which one..)
I'M A BUSY LITTLE BUMBLE BEE..BIZZZZZY BEE, BIZZZZY BEE..
HOODIE...
HIGHWAY PATROL OFFICER...

NEVER GIVE UP ON THE PEOPLE YOU LOVE . . .

2008-07-23T16:52:00.002+01:00

Like any good mother, when Karen found out that another baby was on the way, she did what she could to help her 3-year old son, Michael, prepare for a new sibling. They find out that the new baby is going to be a girl, and day after day, night after night, Michael sings to his sister in Mommy's tummy.

The pregnancy progresses normally for Karen, an active member of the Panther Creek United Methodist Church in Morristown,Tennessee. Then the labour pains come. Every five minutes every minute. But complications arise during delivery. Hours of labor. Would a C-section be required?

Finally, Michael's little sister is born. But she is in serious condition. With siren howling in the night, the ambulance rushes the infant to the neonatal intensive care unit at St. Mary's Hospital, Knoxville, Tennessee. The days inch by. The little girl gets worse. The pediatric specialist tells the parents, "There is very little hope. Be prepared for the worst."

Karen and her husband contact a local cemetery about a burial plot. They have fixed up a special room in their home for the new baby - now they plan a funeral.

Michael, keeps begging his parents to let him see his sister, "I want to sing to her," he says.

Week two in intensive care. It looks as if a funeral will come before the week is over. Michael keeps nagging about singing to his sister, but kids are never allowed in Intensive Care. But Karen makes up her mind. She will take Michael whether they like it or not. If he doesn't see his sister now, he may never see her alive.

She dresses him in an oversized scrub suit and marches him into ICU. He looks like a walking laundry basket, but the head nurse recognizes him as a child and bellows, "Get that kid out of here now! No children are allowed.

The mother rises up strong in Karen, and the usually mild-mannered lady glares steel-eyed into the head nurse's face, her lips a firm line. "He is not leaving until he sings to his sister!" Karen tows Michael to his sister's bedside. He gazes at the tiny infant losing the battle to live. And he begins to sing.

In the pure hearted voice of a 3-year-old, Michael sings: "You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy when skies are gray --- "

Instantly the baby girl responds. The pulse rate becomes calm and steady.

Keep on singing, Michael.

"You never know, dear, how much I love you, Please don't take my sunshine away---"

The ragged, strained breathing becomes as smooth as a kitten's purr. Keep on singing, Michael.

"The other night, dear, as I lay sleeping, I dreamed I held you in my arms..." Michael's little sister relaxes as rest, healing rest, seems to sweep over her. Keep on singing, Michael. Tears conquer the face of the bossy head nurse. Karen glows.

"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. Please don't, take my sunshine away."

Funeral plans are scrapped. The next, day-the very next day-the little girl is well enough to go home!

Woman's Day magazine called it "the miracle of a brother's song." The medical staff just called it a miracle.

Karen called it a miracle of God's love!

Be Patient it does take a while to load. . .Worth the wait. Hubba - hubba Ladies. . lol

2008-07-23T16:42:00.003+01:00

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These YOUTUBERS has been making its rounds...Love it'. Womans dream to find a partner that CAN DANCE....

2008-07-15T20:19:00.005+01:00

COMING SOON TO MY B. . .HONEST QUESTIONS FOR HONEST WHOLESOME ANSWERS..... Questions you darn't ask as the wise ask commenters...

2008-07-15T01:56:00.003+01:00

HONEST AND UP FRONT . . .
No secrets, No lies...Too tired and far too much effort to be playing Cat'n'Mouse, Goose'n'Gander, or Make em' jealous and Insecure kind of fool hearted games.... Forget being treated Mean to keep me keen, its a sheer turn off....

Close your Eyes if you don't wish to be flashed by these beef cakes...Found a cheeky one just for you..Joanne..

2008-07-09T01:32:00.002+01:00

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Though personnally I prefere the bods to the knobs (less hairy) . . .lol x x

Definition of Beef cake. . .Which one would you consider....(in the eye of the beholder)

2008-07-03T00:54:00.002+01:00

Its not what it says. .

2008-07-02T03:38:00.004+01:00

An assistant got a pen stuck inside the printer. He started to try and remove the pen, but his boss told him we don't have time for this now. They had to get to the boardroom. He told his assistant to just put a note on the printer telling folks not to use it and then report it to the Help Desk.

So the assistant grabbed a piece of paper and scrawled on it. The Boss left before he finished the note.

About 20 minutes later, one of the techs came in laughing into the office and said He was just in the lobby and was just about to use the printer. But saw a piece of paper sticking out of the printer.

Attached is what he found. Sometimes things don't always come out the way you want them to........

Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even a chuckle)...in other words, send it to everyone. We all need to smile every once in a while.

Priceless photos to treasure and look back on. . .

2008-06-30T23:22:00.006+01:00

Why you should never leave the house without your knickers. . .

Great Wedding photo, one to treasure and look back on. . .

Spot Mummy Rabbit...if you can.

2008-06-28T23:53:00.000+01:00

Dalida gave birth to 5 male and 6 female puppies. Both mother and babies are doing well, getting better and stronger.

2008-06-28T23:11:00.000+01:00

And mother is doing well. . .

2008-06-28T23:08:00.000+01:00

UN B E L I E V A B L E. .Only the Americans can do it so well and crazily. . lol x x

2008-06-26T15:07:00.003+01:00

ROCKET MAN

ROCKET MAN 2

ROCKET WOMAN. . .

DRUNK WHO ME. . .N e v e r ! !

2008-06-24T15:37:00.001+01:00

A squirrel in a Minneapolis neighborhood was drunk from eating fermented pumpkins, and just could not climb the tree. THIS SQUIRREL WAS FINE THE NEXT DAY. . .

Drunk African animals after they eat lots of fermented Amarulas. . .

What is it all about. . .I read this and though OWWWW SO TRUE...What would you do?

2008-06-22T12:05:00.003+01:00

A man asks you out for the first date. You're all nervous and excited because you think he's hot. Your heart starts beating faster when he gets close and you wonder if he's going to kiss you.

Then he does. And the thrill shoots all the way to your toes.

Each new touch, every new intimacy flushes adrenalin into your system, makes you hyperaware of his hands, his mouth, his eyes, his scent.

Then you find yourself naked, flat on your back, or bent over the nearest available surface. You feel the head of his cock prod your opening and a flood of chemicals surge through your bloodstream.

He trusts, you counter, and soon he's buried inside of you for the very first time. Stretching you, filling you.

Solid. Real.

Your nipples tighten, a wash of fluid leaks out of your pussy, your breathing deepens.

Then he moves. Your bodies work together in an age old dance that takes you to places no other activity on earth can take you.

One day you wake up and realize the thrill is gone. The sex is good, even great, but that adrenalin dumping thrill has abandoned you.

And you want to feel it again.

Do you dump the guy and go on the hunt for a new one? Or do you throw yourself into the relationship you've got, and learn just how intense an orgasm can really be between two partners that know each other, and have an emotional investment? LOVE. . .

ONE READERS COMMENT...from a guy...surprize surprize. . !!

"While novel is always exciting and casual sex is a completely different animal (in a good way), having an emotional investment takes porking to another level for me. I love loving who I'm shagging (or being shagged by).

Sunday Blues...this should make you laugh. . x x

2008-06-22T11:40:00.004+01:00

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I'm driving along on the highway
At 65 miles an hour
(the speed limit), minding my own business,
When outta nowhere there's
This big crack in my windshield!!

I swerved right,
And then left,
And it was still right there!!

There just ain't NO words for this!...

Just IS SHE WEARING SHEER TIGHTS OR REGUALR DENIER. .

Actual sign ads/Qotes on the internet... with a great sence of humor. . .

2008-06-21T00:57:00.003+01:00

Advertisement In A Long Island Shop:Guitar, for sale....... cheap....... ....no strings attached.

Ad.. In Hospital Waiting Room: Smoking Helps You Lose Weight ... One Lung At A Time!

Seen on a bulletin board:Success Is Relative. More The Success, More The Relatives.

Quote on a internet site:When I Read About The Evils Of Drinking...I Gave Up Reading.

Quote on a internet site:My Grandfather Is Eighty And Still Doesn't Need Glasses... He Drinks Straight Out Of The Bottle.

Quote on a internet site:You Know Your kids Have Grown Up When: Your Daughter Begins To Put On Lipstick.. Or Your Son Starts To Wipe It Off.

Sign In A Bar:"Those Of You Who Are Drinking To Forget, Please Pay In Advance."

Sign In Driving School:If Your Wife Wants To Learn To Drive, Don't Stand In Her Way.

Sigh In a Divorce solicitors office waiting room:Getting Caught Is The Mother Of Invention.

Sign in a Drugstore window:Laugh And The World Laughs With You, Snore And You sleep Alone. (stop snore patches).

The Surest Sign That Intelligent Life Exists Elsewhere In The Universe Is The Fact That It Has Never Tried To Contact Us.

Sign At A Barber's Saloon In Detroit: We Need Your Heads To Run Our Business.

Sign In A Restaurant:All Drinking Water In This Establishment Has Been Personally Passed By The Manager.

Sign On A Famous Beauty Parlor Window:Don't Whistle At The Girls Going Out From Here with her back turned to you. She May Be Your Grandmother !

aawwwwwh...and who said animals don't get along

2008-06-21T00:29:00.011+01:00

Ever have one of those days, when something seemed a bit "off" but you just couldn't put your finger on it...

Or it seemed like all the people around you just wanted to butt heads...

Or just get into some kind of weird tug of war?

Sometimes you just need to take a fresh new look and get a different perspective on things.

Remember to try your best to show kindness to others...

sometimes looking at things from their perspective might help...)

So, when life gets you down...

Remember to just keep going, and keep your head above water...

And you'll get by with a little help from your friends!

To all of my friends have a nice day.. . Together We Can Make Someone Smile !

When you are feeling alone like no one cares, read this coz its absolutely true:

2008-06-19T06:33:00.002+01:00

Every night, at least one person/someone thinks about you before they go to sleep or when they awake.

At least one person loves you unconditionaly with all their heart in a life time.

The only reason someone returns a good deed without conditions because of your good heartness.

There are at least two people in this world that would die for you, because you mean the world to them.

When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good tends to comes from it.

When you think the world has turned its back on you, take a look.

Its not a weak man that admits he is wrong or just saying S O R R Y, but a strong one.

Always remember the compliments you've received. Forget the rude remarks.

See the positives in life and not concentrate on the sheer negative ones.

Appreciate what you have then fret what you haven't as life is far too short than anyone of us know it.

So if you are a loving person, send this to everyone on your list. As someone who loves me did. .x x

What caption would you use?. . .all I can Say Poor Cow.

2008-06-16T05:21:00.005+01:00

TAKE A LOOK AT THESE PICUTRE...

WHAT CAPTION WOULD YOU USE. .

IS THE GRASS GREENER ON THE OTHER SIDE...(Was it worth the effort now)..

THIS IS HOW COWS DO IT. . (a song is running in my head..lol) LETS FALL IN LOVE. . .

CAUGHT!FROM BEHIND. .

"THERE YOU ARE...OHHHHHH BABE. CAN'T HELP MYSELF, YOUR BUTT. . ."

TYPICAL WHEN I HAVE MY HANDS/HEAD FULL. . .

B U L L L S HA..."NOT NOW".

sorry could n't help myself having a mad one, on my own lol. . x x

The winning Toast

2008-06-14T03:20:00.002+01:00

John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said 'here's to spending the rest of me life between the legs of me wife'

That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night

He went home and told his wife Mary 'I won the prize for the best toast of the night'

She said 'aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?'

John said 'here's to spending the rest of me life sitting in church beside me wife'

'Oh that is very nice indeed John' Mary said

The next day Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street corner

The man chuckled leeringly and said 'John won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you Mary'

She said 'aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he's only been there twice in the last four years. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come'

Waaaa Haaaa. . .

2008-06-13T23:27:00.000+01:00

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CLEVER ART. . .I really love em'

2008-06-13T23:23:00.002+01:00

AND ONE TO THE IMAGINATION. . . LOL X X

Water Bottle Holder and Bum bag combined FP&P Item number: 140240958958 (some items just don't need modeling..believe me).

2008-06-13T23:11:00.006+01:00

I COULDN'T BELIEVE MY EYES when I was on e-bay yesturday and came across this item advertising for sale.

A NEW MEANING TO BUM BAG AND IN THE STATES THEY CALL IT FANNY PACK. . .

It was advertised as free delivery....do you wonder why? (sweaty from -ollocks too).

P.S I Was shopping for the boyfriend...His face when I asked him "what about this one then".

Pussy Cat Heaven. . .Enjoy. . . x x x

2008-06-12T04:45:00.003+01:00

Great Music tune to go with. .

For Joanne casey. . .A classic BBC1 comedy The Royle Family. . .

2008-06-10T03:20:00.006+01:00

On the surface, The Royle Family appeared to be humdrum and low on incident - but such ordinary appearances belie the fact that it was a groundbreaking work of exceptional comedy invention.

The Royle Family

Writers Craig Cash and Caroline Aherne's knack of capturing every nuance of character and dialogue made the sitting room of the titular Royles a must-see for an ever-growing audience. Viewers simply dropped in to this Northern family's conversations and watched them channel-hop and discuss various everyday subjects.

Family patriarch Jim Royle is master of his space - unafraid to rearrange his nether regions, pick his nose or fart, regardless of the company. Ricky Tomlinson embraces the part with gusto, making Jim's oft delivered "My arse" a national catchphrase.

Frequently boorish, always laughing at his own jokes, and intent on announcing his lavatorial visits to all and sundry, Tomlinson made Jim impossible to dislike.

Because of Jim's indolence, it is his hard-working wife Barbara (Sue Johnson, reuniting with her former Brookside husband) who is the main breadwinner. She is the only one who sticks up for their oft picked-upon youngest son Anthony who is obliged to do any errand or drudgery without complaint.

Their daughter Denise and her henpecked husband David are ensconced on the family sofa even when they have a house of their own, as is Barbara's morbid, storytelling mother Norma (known as Nana).

All the characters in this show just seemed so right. The laughs appeared to come effortlessly (although, ever the perfectionist, Aherne reportedly agonised over every syllable), and there was no contrivance or slapstick to be found anywhere.

The Royle Family mined comedy from the mundanity of life, and brimmed with affection for its characters. Although infused with occasional moments of sentimentality, it was unflinching - never afraid to portray its characters with all their flaws apparent.

If one scene could sum the show up, it would be that of Denise and Jim on the bathroom floor after her waters have broken. Juxtaposing earthy humour ("Are you sure it's not just a bloody big piss, love?") with heartfelt emotion (Tomlinson breaking down in tears as he describes the unassailable love he felt at Denise’s birth) it is raw, tender, funny and heartbreakingly real.

Semi-regular characters popped in and out of the Royles' living room: yin and yang neighbours Mary and Joe (she cheery, he dreary), Anthony's wayward best mate Darren, Anthony's "posh" (she’s from Altrincham) vegetarian girlfriend Emma, and Denise's plump friend Cheryl.

The final special, some five years after the series had ended, finally escaped the confines of the house - but to hospital, where Nana finally passes away.

Nothing on television had been quite like The Royle Family It eschewed a laughter track and the traditional three-camera set-up, and was shot on 16mm film, the resulting grain adding to the dowdy atmosphere. Not only that, but it seemed to take place in real time.

It is unlikely this bold, unique and brilliant rewriting of what is possible in British comedy will be bettered.

Cast
Caroline AherneDenise Royle/BestSue JohnstonBarbara RoyleRicky TomlinsonJim RoyleRalf LittleAntony RoyleLiz SmithNorma SpeakmanCraig CashDave BestDoreen KeoghMary CarrollPeter MartinJoe CarrollJessica StevensonCheryl CarrollGeoffrey HughesTwiggySheridan SmithEmma KavanaghAndrew WhymentDarren Sinclair-JonesMatthew HughesBaby DavidJames HughesBaby DavidCrew
Caroline Ahernewriter
Craig Cashwriter
Henry Normalwriter
Carmel Morganwriter
Caroline Ahernedirector
Mark Myloddirector
Steve Bendelackdirector
Glenn Wilhideproducer
Kenton Allenproducer
Andy Harriesexecutive producerRelated LinksAlso on BBC Comedy
Early Doors
Bread
The Mrs Merton Show
Mrs Merton and Malcolm
Royle Family Wallpaper
Also on bbc.co.uk
TV Schedules
Beyond the BBC
IMDb
Wikipedia
The BBC is not responsible for the content of external websites.

Also is in....http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Royle_Family

FIND THE FACES:?

2008-06-10T02:50:00.003+01:00

WELL HOW'D YOU DO. . .11..no. Try again...

I SPOTTED 11. . .(if i can do it so can you. . .) TRY AGAIN. .

NOW TRY THIS ONE. . .DON'T FALL BACK NOW !!!

Emergency trip to Isti Towers. . . 21st April. The carrying of skirting boards from B&Q. . .N O T . . . BUSTED..Pinocchio. x x

2008-06-08T09:10:00.018+01:00

ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT. . .In the words of Jim Royle "my arse". . LOL X X X

Ricky Tomlinson. . Takes a closer inspection and made everyone laugh with his usual inimitable catchphrase "My Ar....."from the series "The Royle Family"

Naught naughty. . .

2008-06-08T07:35:00.002+01:00

A woman was having a daytime affair while her husband was at work. One rainy day she was in bed with her boyfriend when, to her horror, she heard her husband's car pull into the driveway.

"Oh my God - Hurry! Grab your clothes and jump out the window. My husband's home early!"

"I can't jump out the window. It's raining out there!"

"If my husband catches us in here, he'll kill us both!" she replied. "He's got a hot temper and a gun, so the rain is the least of your problems!"

So the boyfriend scoots out of bed, grabs his clothes & jumps out the window. Running down the street in the rain, he quickly discovered he had run right into the middle of the town's annual marathon, so he started running along beside the others, about 300 of them.

Being naked, with his clothes tucked under his arm, he tried to blend in as best he could. After a little while a small group of runners who had been watching him with some curiosity, jogged closer.

"Do you always run in the nude?" one asked. "Oh yes!" he replied, gasping for air. "I feel so wonderfully free!"

Another runner moved a long side. "Do you always run carrying your clothes with you under your arm?"

"Oh, yes" our friend answered breathlessly. "That way I can get dressed at the end of the run and get in my car to go home!

Then a third runner cast his eyes a little lower and asked, "Do you always wear a condom when you run?"

"Nope........just when it's raining."

The weekends here...hip hip horray ! ! !

2008-06-07T21:49:00.001+01:00

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How Sad. . . Bo Diddley dies...He will be missed

2008-06-06T14:32:00.001+01:00

Legendary blues guitarist Bo Diddley has died aged 79 from heart failure.

Legendary blues guitarist Bo Diddley has died.The musician passed away from heart failure at his home in Archer, Florida, on Monday (02.06.08) aged 79, his spokesperson Susan Clary confirmed. Diddley had been in ill health for some time. He suffered a heart attack last August, just a few months after having a stroke while on tour.The guitarist, who was born Otha Ellas Bates, was famous for making his own square guitars, his distinctive live performances and his trademark dark glasses and black hat.

Diddley - whose father died shortly after he was born and was raised by his mother's cousin Gussie McDaniel after his 16-year-old mother could not care for him - claimed he got his iconic name from his school friends shortly after he moved from Mississippi to Chicago when he was six. The blues star, whose name was changed to Ellas McDaniel after Gussie became his legal guardian, previously said: "I don't know where they got it from, but the kids in grammar school gave me that name."
In the 1950s, Diddley was one of a host of musicians, including Chuck Berry and Little Richard, credited as being a founding father of the rock 'n' roll revolution due to his distinctive interpretation of rhythm and blues and gospel.

He influenced a host of bands and artists with The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, Eric Clapton and The Clash among many crediting him with having a major effect on their careers. The Strokes guitarist Albert Hammond Jr. paid tribute to Diddley, saying: "I think we are all fans of Bo Diddley's rhythm and style. So many artists have borrowed his simple, but powerful rhythms, his chocolate bar-shaped guitar. Bo Diddley, may you rest in piece and live on through future musicians."

He was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 1987 and received a Grammy Lifetime Achievement Award in 1998 in recognition of his incredible contribution to music. His most famous songs include 'Bo Diddley', 'Who Do You Love?', 'Uncle John', 'Say Man' and 'Ride On Josephine'.

2008-06-06T04:20:00.001+01:00

Only a mother can love. . . . Can you be that Mother?

2008-06-05T01:30:00.006+01:00

Dear All

My friends cousin's cat had kittens and she was able to give away all but 4 of them.I told her I would help her find homes for the last 4.

I can't take one because I have 3 cats already, but if you could take just one it would be such a help and the kittens could have a nice home.

Since she lives by the Nuclear Power Plant, I'll go pick them up for you.

I've attached pictures of the last 4 kittens. Can you given one of them a home and help a fortunate little kit?

Thanks

chazza x x

Guilty C o n s c i e n c e

2008-06-03T01:24:00.006+01:00

A bloke is in a queue at the Supermarket when he notices that the rather dishy blonde behind him has just raised her hand, smiled, and said hello to him.

He is rather taken aback that such a looker would be waving to him, and although familiar he can't place where he might know her from, so he says "Sorry do you know me?"

She replies "I maybe mistaken, but I thought you might be the father of one of my children!".

His mind shoots back to the one and only time he has been unfaithful,
"Christ!" he says "Are you that stripogram on my stag night that I
shagged on the snooker table in front of all my mates, whilst your mate whipped me with some wet celery and stuck a cucumber up my bum?".

"No" she replies, "I'm your sons' English Teacher!"

Men. . .what idiots or what?

2008-06-02T02:49:00.001+01:00

Compilation of Embarrassment Video compilation of some old and new classic headers, face plants and other embarrassing situations.

Next time check behind you. . .

2008-06-02T02:42:00.001+01:00

10 Ways to Ruin a Good Photo Next time you see someone taking a picture, why not try one of these poses? (A couple possibly NSFW one in there.)

The two most stupidest Burgulars

2008-06-02T02:40:00.000+01:00

The Two Stupidest Burglars in the World One gets a rock to the coconut, the other gets a rock sandwich to the mouth.

Stumbled on this link. . interact video...Enjoy

2008-06-02T01:35:00.001+01:00

Hang Stan Fun Hangman game with a twist.

At the right angle. . .G8 are they not. . .

2008-06-01T05:10:00.010+01:00

Waa Haaaaa the Weekend. . again (oh no...not..lol)

2008-05-31T04:13:00.000+01:00

PROFILEFANTASY.COM

5 CASES WHEN IT IS OK TO USE THE 'F' WORD

2008-05-31T04:06:00.005+01:00

HOW CLEVER ARE YOU. . .

2008-05-30T02:23:00.011+01:00

These are pretty clever. Try to resist moving quickly. Look at each picture one at a time. Try to determine what it represents. Then look at the answer right at the end below all the pictures.

How many did you get ? Com'on be honest !!!

lIGHT ALE

EGG PLANT

DR PEPPER

POOL TABLE

TAP DANCERS

CARD SHARK

THE KING OF POP

IPOD

K-NIGHTMARE

W-HOLE MILK

Here we go girls.. Have fun. . .

2008-05-28T02:50:00.000+01:00

(10) God was worried that Adam would frequently become lost in the garden because he would not ask for directions.

(9) God knew that one day Adam would require someone to locate and hand him the remote.

(8) God knew Adam would never go out and buy himself a new fig leaf when his wore out, and would therefore need Eve to buy one for him.

(7) God knew Adam would never be able to make a doctor, dentist, or haircut appointment by himself.

(6) God knew Adam would never remember which night to put the garbage on the curb.

(5) Adam was strong, but God knew if the world was to be populated, Adam would never be able to handle the discomforts of childbearing.

(4) As the Keeper of the Garden, Adam would need help remembering where he left his tools.

(3) Apparently, Adam needed someone to blame his troubles on when God caught him hiding in the garden.

(2) As the Bible says, "It's not good for man to be alone."

And, finally, the Number 1 reason why God created Eve....

1. When God finished the creation of Adam, He stepped back, scratched his head, and said, "I can do better than that!"

You just have to laugh. . .

2008-05-28T02:32:00.001+01:00

Grandpa is lying in bed in a detox ward recovering from delirium tremens.
Johnny, his six year old grandson goes to the hospital with his Grandma to pay him a visit.
On entering the room, Johnny says to his Grandpa:
"Grandpa, Grandpa," he says excitedly, " as soon as Grandma comes into the room, make a noise like a frog!"
" What? Said Grandpa.
"Make a noise like a frog because Grandma said that as soon as you croak, we're going to Disneyland.

Wow. You have to read this.....the tablecloth.

2008-05-26T02:30:00.003+01:00

True Story - submitted by Pastor Rob Reid.

A beautiful story....makes you understand that everything happens for a reason.

The brand new pastor and his wife, newly assigned to their first ministry, to reopen a church in suburban Brooklyn, arrived in early October excited about their opportunities. When they saw their church, it was very run down and needed much work. They set a goal to have everything done in time to have their first service On Christmas Eve. They worked hard, repairing pews, plastering walls,painting, etc, and on December 18th they were ahead of schedule and just about finished.

On December 19 a terrible tempest - a driving rainstorm hit the area and lasted for two days. On the 21st, the pastor went over to the church. His heart sank when he saw that the roof had leaked, causing a large area of plaster about 20 feet by 8 feet to fall off the front wall of the sanctuary just behind the pulpit, beginning about head high. The pastor cleaned up the mess on the floor, and not knowing what else to do but postpone the Christmas Eve service, headed home.

On the way he noticed that a local business was having a flea market type sale for charity so he stopped in. One of the items was a beautiful, handmade, ivory colored, crocheted tablecloth with exquisite work, fine colors and a Cross embroidered right in the center. It was just the right size to cover up the hole in the front wall. He bought it and headed back to the church.

By this time it had started to snow. An older woman running from the opposite direction was trying to catch the bus.. She missed it. The pastor invited her to wait in the warm church for the next bus 45 minutes later. She sat in a pew and paid no attention to the pastor while he got a ladder, hangers, etc., to put up the tablecloth as a wall tapestry.

The pastor could hardly believe how beautiful it looked and it covered up the entire problem area. Then he noticed the woman walking down the center aisle. Her face was like a sheet.. "Pastor," she asked, "where did you get that tablecloth?"
The pastor explained. The woman asked him to check the lower right corner to see if the initials, EBG were crochet into it there. They were. These were the initials of the woman, and she had made this tablecloth 35 years before, in Austria.

The woman could hardly believe it as the pastor told how he had just gotten the Tablecloth. The woman explained that before the war she and her husband were well-to-do people in Austria. When the Nazis came, she was forced to leave. Her husband was going to follow her the next week. He was captured, sent to prison and never saw her
husband or her home again.

The pastor wanted to give her the tablecloth; but she made the pastor keep it for the church. The pastor insisted on driving her home, that was the least he could do.. She lived on the other side of Staten Island and was only in Brooklyn for the day for a housecleaning job.

What a wonderful service they had on Christmas Eve. The church was almost full. The music and the spirit were great. At the end of the service, the pastor and his wife greeted everyone at the door and many said that they would return. One older man, whom the pastor recognized from the neighborhood continued to sit in one of the pews and stare, and the pastor wondered why he wasn't leaving.

The man asked him where he got the tablecloth on the front wall because it was identical to one that his wife had made years ago when they lived in Austria before the war and how could there be two tablecloths so much alike. He told the pastor how the Nazis came, how he forced his wife to flee for her safety and he was supposed to follow her, but he was arrested and put in a prison.. He never saw his wife or his home again all the 35 years in between.

The pastor asked him if he would allow him to take him for a little ride. They drove to Staten Island and to the same house where the pastor had taken the woman three days earlier. He helped the man climb the three flights of stairs to the woman's apartment, knocked on the door and he saw the greatest Christmas reunion he could ever imagine.

Have you ever wondered what idiots looks like?

2008-05-25T01:54:00.002+01:00

Well, wonder no more!

YES THAT IS A POWER CORD FLOATING ON FLIP FLOPS !!!

I wonder if they are still around!!! ?? what comes to mind....If MEN HAD BRAINS

One of those funnies you stumble upon on the internet....

2008-05-25T01:32:00.005+01:00

While I was driving down the M1 the other day, (going a little faster than I should have been) I passed under a bridge only to see a policeman on the other side with a radar gun, lying in wait.
The policeman pulled me over, walked up to the car and with that classic, patronizing smirk, asked: 'Runway too short'?
To which I replied. 'I'm late for work'
To which he asked, 'What do you do?'
'I'm a rectum stretcher,' I responded.
The policeman was surprised and confused.
'A what'
'A rectum stretcher'
'and just what does a rectum stretcher do?'
'Well,' I said 'I start by inserting one finger then I work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four then with my whole hand in, work side to side until I can stretch and stretch and then I slowly but surely stretch the hole until it's about 6 feet'
Then the policeman asked questioningly and cautiously. 'And just what do you do with a six-foot arsehole?'
To which I politely replied, 'You give it a radar gun and park it behind a bridge...'

Speeding ticket: £105,
Court Costs: £45,
Look on copper's face: Priceless

NOT TOO LATE TO GET WED....

2008-05-25T00:05:00.002+01:00

An Interview With An 80-year-old Woman
The local news station was interviewing an 80-year-old lady
because she had just got married -- for the 4th time.

The interviewer asked her questions about her life, about
what it felt like to be marrying again at 80, and then about
her new husband's occupation.

"He's a funeral director," she answered.

"Interesting," the newsman thought. He then asked her if she
wouldn't mind telling him a little about her first 3
husbands and what they did for a living.

She paused for a few moments, needing time to reflect on all
those years. After a short time, a smile came to her face
and she answered proudly, explaining that she'd first
married a banker when she was in her early 20s, then a
circus ringmaster when in her 40s, later on a preacher when
in her 60s, and now in her 80s, a funeral director.

The interviewer looked at her, quite astonished, and asked
why she had married 4 men with such diverse careers.

She smiled and explained, "I married 1 for the money, 2
for the show, 3 to get ready, and 4 to go."

One for Joanne Casey...Cheeky money

2008-05-24T23:47:00.001+01:00

You've Got mail. . .

2008-05-24T22:59:00.001+01:00

A couple from Minneapolis decided to go to Florida for a long weekend to thaw out during one particularly icy cold winter. They both had jobs, and had difficulty coordinating their travel schedules. It was decided the husband would fly to Florida on a Thursday, and his wife would follow him the next day. Upon arriving as planned, the husband checked into the hotel. There he decided to open his laptop and send his wife an e-mail back in Minneapolis. However, he accidentally left off one letter in her address and sent the e-mail without noticing his error.

In the mean time:
In Houston, a widow had just returned from her husband's funeral. He was a minister of many years who had been "called home to glory" following a heart attack (died and gone to report in heaven). The widow checked her e-mail, expecting messages from family and friends. Upon reading the first message, she fainted and fell to the floor. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor and saw the computer screen which read:

To: My loving Wife
From: Your Departed Husband
Subject: I've arrived!

I've just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then. Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.

P.S. Sure is hot down here.

HAVING A BAD DAY...Think again

2008-05-23T18:39:00.003+01:00

Fire authorities in California found a corpse in a burned out section of forest while assessing the damage done by a forest fire. The deceased male was dressed in a full wet suit, complete with scuba tanks on his back, flippers, and face mask. A post-mortem revealed that the person died not from burns, but from massive internal injuries. Dental records provided a positive identification.

Investigators set about to determine how a fully clad diver ended up in the middle of a forest fire. It was revealed that on the day of the fire, the person went for a diving trip off the coast some 20 miles from the forest. The fire-fighters, seeking to control the fire as quickly as possible, called in a fleet of helicopters with very large dip buckets. Water was dipped from the ocean and then flown to the forest fire and emptied. You guessed it. One minute our diver was making like Flipper in the Pacific, the next he was doing the breast stroke in a fire dip bucket 300 feet in the air.

Apparently he extinguished exactly 5'10" of the fire. Some days it just doesn't pay to get out of bed - This article was taken from the California Examiner, March 20, 1998

Waaaaaaa haaaaaaaaa. . . ?

2008-05-23T01:42:00.006+01:00

PROFILEFANTASY.COM

The DOORFRAME!

2008-05-22T22:27:00.001+01:00

Another good One passed on by my mate Andrea....You are a one....

DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN YOU WERE A KID AND YOUR PARENTS LINED YOU UP AGAINST A DOOR FRAME TO MARK HOW TALL YOU WERE AND DATED THE MARK?

WELL, THIS CARTOON BRINGS A WHOLE NEW PERSPECTIVE TO THAT EXERCISE!

LAUGHTER WILL KEEP YOU YOUNG AT HEART !

And they say today woman are getting larger. . .

2008-05-22T17:14:00.004+01:00

As a spectator of womans underwear I can see what they are saying in the poster.

As a woman its a whole big ball game. When you are young (teenager wa haaaaaa)you really don't care of what is in fashion. We were so nieve, un confident on what is best for us but what is best IN (at the time) being part of being hip n' being cool, being seen in and what we thought was sexy.

As you get older, fashion takes the back seat as we know what looks good for us. Feels COMFORTABLE especially. Talking to friends over the years and reminising on our fashion sense. The one thing that always comes up and we laugh is underwear how it either rode up, rode down or disappeared and needed retrieving (you know what I mean ladies)....lol

Showing off...can be painful....

2008-05-21T21:16:00.002+01:00

BET THEY REGREATED IT. . . owwwwwwwwwwch

THE BEST CAT VIDEO YOU'LL EVER SEE...great sound track to go with it..

2008-05-21T20:54:00.003+01:00

HOPE YOU ENJOY AS I DID WITH PLENTY OF OWWWWWWWS AND AHHHHHHHHSSSSSSS. How cute...x x x

In case you missed it on 60 Minutes, this is what Andy Rooney thinks about women over 40:. . And no gun was held up to his head....

2008-05-21T01:58:00.007+01:00

60 Minutes Correspondent Andy Rooney (CBS)

As I grow in age, I value women over 40 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why:

A woman over 40 will never wake you in the middle of the night and ask, 'What are you thinking?' She doesn't care what you think.

If a woman over 40 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do, and it's usually more interesting.

Women over 40 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you if they think they can get away with it.

Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated.

Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 40.

Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 40 is far sexier than her younger counterpart.

Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off if you are a jerk, if you are acting like one. You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her.

Yes, we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed, hot woman over 40, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year old waitress. Ladies, I apologize.

For all those men who say, 'Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?', here's an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage. Why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!

JUST WHAT YOU SAY TO THIS....BUT FOR ONCE I AGREE WITH THE GUY....LOL

P.S. . .AAH....but not all men are like this to those who ain't...We excuse you for being titled a Man. . .but Gent....x x x

Wedneday. . One for the girls....Enjoy... x x ( So...thats a boobies lunch box nowadays...) lol x x

2008-05-21T00:42:00.005+01:00

OH MY. . .

ITS ONE THING SEEING YOUR BOYFRIEND IN HIS PANTS AND YOU THINK PHWEEERRRRRR.... and want to grab/spank his bottom....

OTHERS ITS AN OH MY GOOD GOD D D D D ....LOL

One cute kitty.. . and great sound track to go with it.. .

2008-05-20T05:58:00.004+01:00

OUR NEW KITTY

XXX- Hot Pussy -XXX. . .Adult fun only. . Enjoy. . .

2008-05-20T05:30:00.004+01:00

This is without a doubt one of the nicest good luck forwards I have received. . .There's some mighty fine advice in these words. . .

2008-05-20T03:46:00.004+01:00

This has been sent To you for good luck from the Anthony Robbins organization.. It has been sent around the world ten times so Far. Do not keep this message to your self copy... paste pass it on and share this.

ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.

TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.

THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want

FOUR. When you say, 'I love you,' mean it.

FIVE. When you say, 'I'm sorry,' look the person in the eye.

SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.

SEVEN Believe in love at first sight.

EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dream. People who don't have dreams don't have much

NINE. Love deeply and passionately. Y ou might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.

TEN. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.

ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives.

TWELVE . Talk slowly but think quickly.

THIRTEEN. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, 'Why do you want to know?'

FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.

FIFTEEN. Say 'God bless you' when y ou hear someone sneeze.

SIXTEEN. When you lose, don't lose the lesson .

SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and Responsibility for all your actions.

EIGHTEEN. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.

NINETEEN. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it ï¿½

TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.

TWENTY-ONE. Spend some time alone to get to know who you are.

A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart.

DON'T LOOK IF YOU BEEN ON THE LASH AT THE WEEKEND AND HAVE A QWEEZY TUMMY STILL...

2008-05-19T20:05:00.006+01:00

Talk about the strangest of things that you stumble on when clicking on randum links..Does the second pic remind you of someone?. (see below)

Thank God I could have my dinner later than I wanted.

I don't now what to say BOY IT CERTAINLY DOES TAKE ALL SORTS TO MAKE THE WORD GO AROUND....

I'm not often left speechless which is not often to friends and family who now me well and ESPECIALLY SO TO THE BOYFRIEND, who loves the silence no doubt . . .lol x

ANS:David Guest. . (If he has any more plastic surgery. . . )

Mickey Rourke's . . .What happened. . Why oh why

2008-05-18T04:36:00.004+01:00

Reported in the papers today..quote:With the pressure to look young and beautiful a curse of fame, it's no wonder poor celebrities spend their hard-earned cash on the latest cosmetic enhancements.
But the perils of plastic surgery are hard to avoid; trout pouts, freeze-frame Botox jobs and cling film face lifts liable to scare those of a nervous disposition are just desserts for those who fall foul of the surgeon's scalpel.

How I have seen it as I have grown up, and now a Woman myself at that age where woman around me keep taking about Plastic surgery or that question...Would you have something done. Looking for approval that it is o-k to have plastic surgery. Me no way hoza...I do not give my opinion as I just do not believe in tampering with nature. (that's just me).

It has always been since time in memorial of woman wanting more to look good than Men. Plastic Surgery Wow...I bet some woman have never looked back in the quest of looking even better (they say). The Pill when first came out/available I have read often was a revolutionary in the woman's Independence. Before that burning of the Bra was significant to again woman's Independence..then the vote.

Woman we are resigned and use to seeing the extent of plastic surgery they are willing to go through, go for. For how long and what it takes for what they are striving for...their idea of perfection. Then the horror pictures of what has happened of years of plastic surgery, we are not at all surprised.

Plastic Surgery is a growing process...those who do go forth and have the guts (as I certainly don't)to go under the knife are doing it at their own peril. They are a Guinea pig, they are risking their lives and if this is what they truly believe is the answer or even makes them happy. I am the first to say good luck to them and certainly wouldn't stand in their way.

But the year 2008. . .MEN..YES MEN...are coming to light in the papers of years of plastic surgery too. Mickey Rourke Is one who I look at in the Paper and say WHY...WHY OH WHY...He has had so much work done his face is immovable. He’s been stretched tight and shot up apparently by some of the worst plastic surgeons.Having had his facial bones reconstructed and his skin pulled to the brink of protest apparently. Numerous chin implants, rhinoplastys, face lifts and lip implant ops later, this once-handsome ex-boxer looks like he’s gone through 12 rounds with Mike Tyson.

Years and years later...it just looks to keep getting worse as Rourke tries to undo what’s been done with more surgery.

The Growing process. . .

2008-05-17T17:19:00.007+01:00

In Our teens we don't really think of the future, what is in store for us. Just that we have just left school and want to be recognised as AN ADULT.

One of our friends who turned 20 Years old we thought was OLD. (I remember that thought quite clearly). . When She came into college saying it was her birthday at the weekend. We were real happy for her especially since her family threw her a surprise party. But when she said "20". I did think wow she is old. . .Why no idea when I think about my reaction. Probably down to my maturity, probably because at that age of 16 we just do not look ahead.

On reaching 20 years old how that thought of being OLD just does not enter ones mind, but the plus side. By 20 I was driving for 3 years. 2 years of actually being taken serious in a pub in ordering and being served alcohol. I just could not be served until I really had reached that age to shove my birth certificate or driving license under their nose. Even then the bar staff would look closely in case of it being tampered with,along with giving me that odd stare with one of their eyes raised.

As for me, my height went against me as well as I JUST NEVER LOOKED MY AGE...(At that age HATED IT...today I love it that people do not believe my age). My birth certificate became a fixture in my purse as Night clubs was another place that just did not see me as being old enough. . My mates had a ball, as they were all either 2 or 3 years younger and got in without proof and I always had to prove. The Cinema. . (YES. . ) Going for an X rated was also a NO GO without my birth cert. . and I only loved horrors that I felt was worth queuing up for, for ages. (As we did in those days as there was no multi screens. .lucky if the cinema had 2 screens. One upstairs and one downstairs).

The rest of the 20's was an adventure to me. Pubbing and clubbing mainly. Learning from mistakes I could learn from and make again as I WAS YOUNG enough to learn from again and NOT REPEAT.

Thirty's well. . .It is great you know where you are at. What you want out of life and what you don't. What you will NEVER EVER DO AGAIN and YES WHAT YOU WOULDN'T MIND DOING AGAIN (nudge, nudge..wink wink..lol).

Forty's. . Have to get back to you on this one as I haven't quite got the hang of as yet. Still think and feel the same as my Thirty's really. I some times think..."NOW I AM FORTY FOUR + BURLY I SHOULD BE. . ." and then not giving it a second thought. As if it just does not feel like me and true to myself, why think I should be.

T.G.I. . . T.G.I. . .T.G.I.F. . . ! ! !

2008-05-16T20:01:00.002+01:00

PROFILEFANTASY.COM

AND NO. . KITTY'S HURT IN THE MAKING OF THIS YOU TUBE VIDEO.

2008-05-16T19:56:00.005+01:00

You go girl. . .

2008-05-16T01:08:00.002+01:00

Ahh bless she is only young. You cannot help lovin it.lol .

Certainly cheered me up especially the song she is dancing to, very catchy.

A MUST SEE. . .Thanks to Andrea forwardin. .

2008-05-15T12:19:00.001+01:00

Good Mornin...Good Morning...the sun has stopped shinning the Heavens broken its clouds. . .never mind. Enjoy this cheeky chappy Instead. . .

2008-05-15T10:17:00.001+01:00

PROFILEFANTASY.COM

Ya haaaaaa Its Thursday. . .

2008-05-15T09:45:00.001+01:00

PROFILEFANTASY.COM

From this. . .to this...in the name of Beauty

2008-05-15T08:30:00.005+01:00

Jodie Marsh
Talent always finds a way, but if you aint got any, there's nothing like getting your kit off to fast track your way to (in)fame(y).

We've honed in on the celebrity world's most shameless exhibitionists to give you the lowdown on those desperate attention grabbers who’ve made a mint displaying their bits to all and sundry, with only naked ambition and bare-faced cheek on their side.

Lovingly described by rival Jordan as having 'breasts like spaniels' ears' and 'a nose like a builder's elbow' (ouch!), Essex's most publicity-hungry bird Marsh shot to infamy wearing next to nothing in cheesy West End clubs.

I could not believe my eyes when I clicked on a link that said "people most famous for stripping off". I couldn't help but want a peek. To my shock the NOW picture of Jodie Marsh emerged...I thought no...some kind of joke photo touched up esp her boobs or Madam Tussauds wax dummy of her.

No it was really her now picture on yet another red carpet do. . .WELL THEY DO SAY BEAUTY IS IN THE EYE OF THE BEHOLDER....Shame this girl has changed with botox and fake boobs (she said she would never ever do o o o...and). If I had a choice I would have stuck with the spaniels' ears myself.

Normally I wouldn't give ole Jodie the time of day. As she claims to have GCSE up to her elbows and she does this for a living. Apparently she was bullied badly at school and SHE says this is her way at getting back at her bullies. I bet her Bullies are still laughing even now...!!!

If these woman look like this in their late 20's OH MY GOD...WHAT ABOUT THEIR 40'S....I shudder to think.

Appreciate what you have

2008-05-14T23:52:00.002+01:00

One day . . . a wealthy family man took his son on a trip to the country, so he could have his son see how poor country people live.

They stayed one day and one night in the home of a very humble farmer. At the end of the trip, and when they were back home, the father asked his son, "What did you think of the trip?"

The son replied, "Very nice dad."

Then the father asked his son, "Did you notice how poor they were?"

The son replied, "Yes."

The father continued asking, "What did you learn?"

The son responded, "I learned that we have one dog in our house, and they have four.

Also, we have a fountain in our garden, but they have a stream that has no end.

And we have imported lamps in our garden . . . where they have the stars!

And our garden goes to the edge of our property. But they have the entire horizon as their back yard!"

At the end of the son's reply the father was speechless.

His son then said, "Thank you dad for showing me how poor we really are."

Isn't it true that all depends on the lens you use to see life?

One can ask himself what would happen if we give thanks for what we have instead of always asking for more.

Learn to appreciate what you have. Wealth is all in one's point of view.

I Love ya!

2008-05-13T17:21:00.000+01:00

One day a woman's husband died, and on that clear, cold morning, in the warmth of their bedroom, the wife was struck with the pain of learning that sometimes there isn't anymore.

No more hugs, no more special moments to celebrate together, no more phone calls just to chat, no more "just one minute." Sometimes, what we care about the most gets all used up and goes away, never to return before we can say good-bye, say "I love you."

So while we have it, it's best we love it, care for it, fix it when it's broken and heal it when it's sick. This is true for marriage . and old cars.. and children with bad report cards, and dogs with bad hips, and aging parents and grandparents. We keep them because they are worth it, because we are worth it. Some things we keep -- like a best friend who moved away or a classmate we grew up with. There are just some things that make us happy, no matter what.

Life is important, like people we know who are special. and so, We keep them close!

I received this from someone who thought I was a 'keeper'! Then I sent it to the people I think of in the same way. Now it's your turn to send this to all those people who are "keepers" in your life.

Suppose one morning you never wake up, do all your friends know you love them?

I was thinking...I could die today, tomorrow or next week, and I wondered if I had any wounds needing to be healed, friendships that needed rekindling or three words needing to be said.

Let every one of your friends know you love them. You would be amazed at what those three little words and a smile can do.

And just in case GOD calls me home .....

I LOVE YA!!!

Live today to the fullest because tomorrow is not promised

Thailand. . Intelligence over beauty. . .

2008-05-13T01:27:00.005+01:00

Ain't it amazing how this funny true story reads
Bangkok, Thailand

Apparently a member of the ruling junta who oversees Thai Airways International has ordered the carrier to hire more-attractive stewardesses.

"We have received a lot of complaints that our air hostesses are not pretty enough, too old and unsmiling," Air Chief Marshal Kaset Rojananil said.

In an interview published in "The Nation", the airline has been hiring too many college-educated women, he said, adding: "Intelligent women tend not to be good looking." CAN YOU IMAGINE THIS BEING THE REASON. . AMAZIN OR WHAT..

IMAGINE IF THIS HAPPENED IN ENGLAND OR THE WESTERN WORLD....IT DON'T I HEAR YOU SAY AS BEAUTY COMES BEFORE INTELLIGENCE......

Back for now. .Error message BX-h32KJ6.Permitting...what is it, why is it?

2008-05-12T15:24:00.005+01:00

MONDAY, MONDAY....SO GOOD TO BE BACK ON ME OLE BLOGG. . Hasn't the weather been just great, this past weekend. Though I didn't get too excited what with the way the weather has been performing of late.

Monday and the weather is still holding out ya haaaaaaaaaaa. Does this mean it could be the start of Our Summer at long last. X X X

Happy Friday. .A good Weekend. . . X X

2008-05-09T19:13:00.003+01:00

Hirr. . Andrea. . Having probs at the moment with my blogg. Error message keeps coming up on me. Doing this one ASAP and hope for the Best.

Anyone out there. . Help Error message is BX-h32KJ6....what is it, why is it?

One for the boyFriend. . Rock n Pussy

2008-05-07T23:16:00.004+01:00

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The Knock At the Door. . .One of Lifes rich stories passed on to you, and into your hearts. . .

2008-05-06T00:35:00.008+01:00

There came a frantic knock
At the doctor's office door,
A knock, more urgent than
he had ever heard before.

~~~~

"Come in, Come in,"
the impatient doctor said,
"Come in, Come in,
before you wake the dead."

~~~~

In walked a frightened little girl,
a child no more than nine,
It was plain for all to see,
she had troubles on her mind.

~~~~

"Oh doctor, I beg you,
please come with me,
My mother is surely dying,
she's as sick as she can be."

~~~~

"I don't make house calls,
bring your mother here,"
"But she's too sick,
so you must come or she will die I fear."

~~~~

The doctor, touched by her devotion,
decided he would go,
She said he would be blessed,
more than he could know.

~~~~

She led him to her house
where her mother lay in bed,
Her mother was so very sick
she couldn't raise her head.

~~~~

But her eyes cried out for help
and help her the doctor did,
She would have died that very night
had it not been for her kid.

~~~~

The doctor got her fever down
and she lived through the night,
And morning brought the doctor signs,
that she would be all right.

~~~~

The doctor said he had to leave
but would return again by two,
And later he came back to check,
just like he said he'd do.

~~~~

The mother praised the doctor
for all the things he'd done,
He told her she would have died,
were it not for her little one.

~~~~

"How proud you must be
of your wonderful little girl,
It was her pleading that made me come,
she is really quite a pearl!

~~~~

"But doctor, my daughter died
over three years ago,
Is the picture on the wall
of the little girl you know?"

~~~~

The doctors legs went limp
for the picture on the wall,
Was the same little girl
for whom he'd made this call.

~~~~

The doctor stood motionless,
for quite a little while,
And then his solemn face,
was broken by his smile.

~~~~

He was thinking of that frantic knock
heard at his office door,
And of the beautiful little angel
that had walked across his floor.

~~~~

I believe there are Angels among us...Do You. . ?

Bank Holiday delight for the LADIES. . .

2008-05-05T00:30:00.002+01:00

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Hate Mondays. (Start of another week). . .NORMALLY

2008-05-05T00:25:00.004+01:00

WAHA. . .ITS THE BANK HOLIDAY

Hopefully ITS GARDEN DAY. . IT NEEDS IT... Unfortuanely the grass is still sopping wet to cut. Boo Hoo .

A Good Morning e-mail from a male friend of mine. . Too funny not to share over breakfast.

2008-05-04T13:48:00.004+01:00

WOMEN'S REVENGE

"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.
As she fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.
"So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked.
"No," she replied, "but my husband refused to come shopping with me, and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally."

WIFE VS. HUSBAND
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?" "Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."

CREATION
A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time." The wife responded, "Allow me to explain.
God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you! "

WHO DOES WHAT
A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the cuppa each morning. The wife said, "You should do it because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our cuppa." The husband said, "You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my cuppa." Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the cuppa." Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says .

"HEBREWS"

THE SILENT TREATMENT
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper,
"Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed
his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him,
when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up." Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.

PLEASE COPY AND PASTE AND PASS THIS TO OTHER WOMEN WHO NEED A LAUGH (I haven't stopped since opening and receiving). . AND TO MEN YOU THINK CAN HANDLE Itttt. .lol

The Mayonnaise Jar and 2 Cups of Coffee

2008-05-03T03:11:00.005+01:00

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 cups of coffee.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with an unanimous "Yes."

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

"Now," said the professor as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognise that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things--- God, your family, your children, your health, your friends, and your favourite passions--- and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter-- your job, your house,and your car.

The sand is everything else--- the small stuff .

"If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you.

"Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical check-ups. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal.

Take care of the GOLF BALLS---the things that REALLY matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand ."

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffeerepresented. The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked.

It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend ."

DON'T YOU JUST LOVE IT. . .LOL X X X

2008-05-02T16:51:00.002+01:00

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PROFILEFANTASY.COM" border="0" alt="" />I have found a great site to have some fun (see web/link next to pic). Boy do they cover everything to have some fun on your Web page, My space, emails almost everything really. Certainly brings artistic twist, fun and laughter.

GO NOW AND HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND. . .

SEE YOU FOR NOW

THE BOYFRIEND IS ON HIS OFF, AND TENDS TO HAVE A SIT IN ON THE COMPUTER TILL WHEN EVER. .

Two hundred mourners attend Mark Speight’s funeral

2008-05-01T15:40:00.004+01:00

.Posted by heatworld on Monday 28 Apr 2008

The funeral for tragic TV presenter Mark Speight has taken place today – with around 200 friends and family members turning up to pay their respects. Mark’s dad Oliver spoke at the service in Wolverhampton, and said he thought of his son as a Pied Piper figure who took children on a “magical mystery tour of art.” He said that Mark was a poet, comedian and artist who made everyone smile. “You leave here with the adoration of those 7,000 children that e-mailed the BBC and who miss you today – sleep well in eternity, you have earned your rest,” he said. SMart presenter Mark’s body was found at an office building next to London’s Paddington station two weeks ago, along with two suicide.

I was ever so shocked on the day I just heard the news of Mark Speight going missing. I have always had a soft spot for him. I recollected all the times I baby sat to his show for my friends or relatives kids many a time over the years. It was a must of Babysitting I HAD TO SIT IN THE MIDDLE OF THEM AND WATCH. (secretly I loved and enjoyed Smart as because of my love for What Tony Heart meant to me as I grew up to his show called 'Take Heart'.

Even when I was holidaying in Australia my younger cousins sat down every afternoon and religiously watched Smart (only time they were quiet and sat still). It was real funny when one day they called me over very proud of having a programme they could relate to and wanted so much to share with me. I couldn't help laughing out loud and explained to them of how I knew of Smart. How I always baby sat to Smart, my friends kids absolutely loved it too.

I loved Smart because of Mark. . . Mark was SO enthusiastic beyond the belief of just entertaining his viewers. A 'Monkey on hot bricks is the best phase that comes to mind'. His fantastic art skills that pushed the boundaries of materials you wouldn't, couldn't possibly dream of using. Marks child like qualities related to all the children that watched with great interest.

Mark approached his tasks of the show so simplified that every child who watched developed the confidence in understanding that they felt that they could try it as soon as the show finished. (I should know as I was always goaded to help my friends children and then my younger cousins when I was out in Auss...to do just what Mark had demonstrated so competently and easily).

You never ever felt that Mark was mearly a presenter. He radiated his enjoyment of taking part in the show. You always felt he loved his responsibilities of doing the show to the best of his artistic abilities. Approached the show with such entertainment and laughter which is what made him such a hit with young viewers I feel.

Like me many people must have prayed and hoped for his safety as time went by. Thought that he JUST WANTED SOME TIME TO HIMSELF...get his head together, thoughts on what to do next, where he is at etc..in order. Because of the tragic loss of his girlfriend he felt so very much no doubt.

Then. . .The tragic news of Mark taking his own life. I was SHOCKED like many a person who heard no doubt. I can only describe as being at his lowest ever and sheer desperation. What love he must have had for his fiancée Natasha Collins, someone he lost meant so so so much to him. Mark had friends as we have read about. He had family also who loved and cared for him. Yet he felt obviously beside himself in someway of not being able to go on, live without her.

A REAL TRAGEDY. . I SAY. ONE OF LIFE'S WHY AND WHAT FOR.....

MARK... TO YOU I SAY A HUGE THANKYOU (If you can hear this) FOR BEING JUST YOU. YOUR STAY ON EARTH MEANT A LOT TO MILLIONS WHO GOT TO TUNE INTO YOU, KNOW YOU, AND LOVE YOU. . . R E S T I N P E A C E. .

But to me I felt if I could only take something out and learn from this story.... I have promised myself to keep in touch MORE with my friends and those closest to me. Make sure that I have that ear to listen to their needs, hurts and pains that life gives at the most unexplained moment. Make sure that they know that I care, how much they mean to me and that I love them dearly to know THAT I AM ALWAYS THERE FOR THEM. . . .

MY BOYFRIEND ESPECIALLY. . HOW MUCH HE REALLY MEANS TO ME. IMPORTANT TO ME AND I LOVE BEYOND HE CAN POSSIBLY IMAGINE. THAT IF I HAVE EVER UNCONSCIOUSLY HURT HIM IN ANY WAY THAT IT CERTAINLY WAS NOT INTENTIONAL.

As life can and tends to take over, we can so get caught up in our own thoughts words and actions that comes across as mean and uncaring. Selfish even. But promising to be there for someone,letting them know that you care and love them. Spending that quality time even with them.

I feel. . .can stop one more person thinking WHAT IS THE POINT. . .

Life is too short for drama & petty things!

So laugh insanely.

Love truly and forgive quickly! X X X

A REAL ONE FOR THE GIRLS. . .CHEEKY ! ! !

2008-04-30T15:38:00.007+01:00

Tips for the ladies in year 2008

1)Aspire to be Barbie - the bitch has everything...IF THAT IS REALLY WHAT YOU WANT. .LEARNING BY..IS BETTER TO BECOMING HAPPY WITH ONES SELF THAN BEING SOMEONE ELSE.

2. If the shoe fits - buy one in every colour... REMEMBER ONLY IF YOU CAN AFFORD IT

3. Take life with a pinch of salt... A wedge of lime, and a shot of tequila...IS BEST FOR THAT MOMENT...REMEMBER !!!

4. In need of a support group? - Cocktail hour with the girls!. . MAY BE FUN FOR THE MOMENT...REMEMBER YOUR FRIENDS..GIVE EM' THAT CALL OR EMAIL THEM WHEN YOU CAN.

5. Go on the 30 day diet. (I'm on it and so far I've lost 15 days)...REMEMBER THAT CAN ONLY BE ACHIEVED...EATING IN MODERATION IS FAR MORE BETTER AND SATISFYING FOR YOU.

6. When life gets you down - just put on your big girl panties and deal with it...NO POINT IN HAVING A PAIN IN YOUR BUM TOO!!!

7. Let your greatest fear be thatthere is no PMS and this is just your personality...
APPRECIATE BEING YOU...YES!!!.

8. I know I'm in my own little world, but it's ok. They know me here...WE ALL NEED ME TIME TAKE A BREAK !!!

9. Lead me not into temptation, I can find it myself... A BIT OF EXCITEMENT DON'T HURT.

10. Don't get your knickers in a knot, worry about your vpl it solves nothing; and makes you walk funny...WALK WITH YOUR HEAD HUNG HIGH AND TO HELL WITH WHAT OTHERS THINK.

11. Remember every good looking; sweet, single male is someone else's ex-boyfriend!!! SAYS IT ALL YES GIRLS.

Now smile and send to any girl wasting time at work, crying over her boyfriend, suffering from a hangover,or just suffering from work, that might need a reason to smile!

NOT EVERYONE UNDERSTANDS IT THE WAY YOU DO. . .

2008-04-30T13:05:00.001+01:00

A college student needed a small two-hour course to fill his schedule and the only one available was wildlife Zoology. So he joined in and after one week of study, a test was held.The professor passed out a sheets of small paper where in each square was a carefully drawn picture of a bird's legs. No bodies, no feet, just legs.

The test asked each student to identify the birds from their legs. Our student sat and stared at the test getting angrier every minute. Finally he stomped up to the front of the classroom and threw the test on the teacher's desk. "This is the worst test I have ever written."

The teacher looked up and said: "Young man, you have not filled in anything and you definitely have failed the test. Tell me, what's your name?"

The student pulled up his pant to the knee showing his legs and said, "You
tell me..."

Going Green. . . How far does one take it . .I don't Adam and Eve it.

2008-04-29T17:40:00.002+01:00

GREEN designers have invented women’s underwear made of WOOD.

APPARENTLY. . .The environmentally friendly knickers and bras use fibres from white pine trees.

There is no risk of splinters because the fibres are spun to create a silky-soft fabric.

Non-toxic dyes are used to eliminate allergic reactions.

The material has more microscopic holes for air circulation than polyester and twice the absorbency of cotton.

The French-designed range — marketed in the UK by By nature — is called g=9.8, the scientific figure for the earth’s acceleration.

WHAT CAN ONE SAY HA. . . . IF IT WAS GOOD ENOUGH FOR ADAM AND EVE IN ITS RAW STATE! !. . But they failed to mention washing instructions.

Do we wait till autumn till the trees shed their leaves and bark. . .

INTERESTIN....ERRRRRRR I HEAR YOU SAY.

I am joking. . .Obviously we take them down to the river and beat them on the rocks X X X

ANDREA. .YOU COMING OVER FOR LUNCH. .

2008-04-29T02:05:00.005+01:00

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Well you did say on your last Text, unfortunately I don't know the guy personally. BUT HE DOES LOOK GOOD HA LOL LOL X X

P.S You created your Blogg yet. If i can work it out, I'm sure you can. Still having problems on how to include links to be able to click onto and just get sent to the various bloggs I enjoy reading.

Text, me or email me and I'll try and verbally take you through. . .

A LITTLE DITTY. . Under the title do you know

2008-04-28T15:26:00.005+01:00

A O L

Apparently When men are in a relationship. . .Men keep thinking of what they are missing out on/loss when in a relationship. . .THEY (THINK THEY) HAD TO GIVE UP.

WOMAN. . Adjust easier and see it as just one more thing in their life (multi tasking). Just another gain, they see no loss but consideration of another.

WHY IS THAT IS THE QUESTION?

Interesting ditty from AOL. . .Does it apply in modern day is another question?

Woman are more independent thinking nowadays, earners too, have social lives just like their partner. Only difference they are expected by society to be the nurturing caring for the children and household along with everything else a guy does, has and Is.

Woman have always been more of a Multi tasker so no surprize on that one in a relationship too.

Men recollect more apparently. . . They had to give up.

First question is who said MEN HAVE TO GIVE UPbecause of being in a relationship. SURLY IF THEY GAVE UP ON SOMETHING. .was their choosing.

LEARN TO MULTI TASK I SAY. . . .

The Human Race

2008-04-27T21:25:00.001+01:00

A little girl asked her mother,

'How did the human race appear?'

The mother answered,
'God made Adam and Eve and they had children and so was all mankind
made.'

Two days later the girl asked her father the same question. The father
answered,

'Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race
evolved.'The confused girl returned to her mother and said,

'Mom, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by
God, and Papa said they developed from monkeys?' The mother answered,

'Well, dear, it is very simple. I told you about my side of the family
and your father told you about his.'

My Sunday read. . News of the World

2008-04-27T05:13:00.005+01:00

EXCLUSIVE: Sex shop sells the iGASM

POD IT AWAY!

By Polly Graham

COMPUTER giants Apple are really worked up—over an Ann Summers sex toy that hooks up to your iPod.

Women all over Britain are saying yes, yes, yes to the £30 iGasm that plugs into a music player and delivers good vibrations that pulse to the beat.

But shocked iPod bosses are iRate—demanding stores take down all posters for the gadget or risk a fight in the iCourt.

The neon-pink ads feature a curvaceous girl with wires coming OUT of her MP3 player and INTO her knickers. And it's definitely turned on.

The sales guff teases: "Go at it hard and fast with a pounding drum 'n' bass track or chill with ambient classic."

But Apple lawyers claim the poster is a blatant rip-off of their own famous silhouette images used to flog iPods.

Their haughty legal letter to the shop chain adds: "We hope this request to remove it immediately will prevent us having to consider further action."

Despite that, Ann Summers boss Jacqueline Gold is saying no, no, no and joked: "Perhaps I can send them an iGasm to put a smile back on their faces!"

AND I THOUGHT LEAVE IPODS TO THE YOUNGER GENERATION. .NO FEARS NOW W W. IF THIS BE TRUE. WONDER IF ITS BETTER THAN THE 'ANN SUMMERS'....RAMPENT RABBIT EMMMMM. .LOL

SO WILL THIS BE THE END OF THE POOR RAMPENT RABBIT WILL HE BE A DISCONTINUED LINE AT 'ANN SUMMERS'.

Dear Santa

re:IGASM

Forgive me for my early request/wish for Christmas.
I would like be considered for the above item. I
could try asking the Boyfriend. . . Just in case keep
me one on reserve

yours Sincerely

Will be One Happy Camper x x

AND ONE FOR THE BOYZ Z Z Z

2008-04-27T03:52:00.001+01:00

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ONE FOR THE GIRLS. .H A P P Y W E E K E N D. .

2008-04-27T03:39:00.002+01:00

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