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Friday, 30 May 2008


These are pretty clever. Try to resist moving quickly. Look at each picture one at a time. Try to determine what it represents. Then look at the answer right at the end below all the pictures.

How many did you get ? Com'on be honest !!!











Wednesday, 28 May 2008

Here we go girls.. Have fun. . .

(10) God was worried that Adam would frequently become lost in the garden because he would not ask for directions.

(9) God knew that one day Adam would require someone to locate and hand him the remote.

(8) God knew Adam would never go out and buy himself a new fig leaf when his wore out, and would therefore need Eve to buy one for him.

(7) God knew Adam would never be able to make a doctor, dentist, or haircut appointment by himself.

(6) God knew Adam would never remember which night to put the garbage on the curb.

(5) Adam was strong, but God knew if the world was to be populated, Adam would never be able to handle the discomforts of childbearing.

(4) As the Keeper of the Garden, Adam would need help remembering where he left his tools.

(3) Apparently, Adam needed someone to blame his troubles on when God caught him hiding in the garden.

(2) As the Bible says, "It's not good for man to be alone."

And, finally, the Number 1 reason why God created Eve....

1. When God finished the creation of Adam, He stepped back, scratched his head, and said, "I can do better than that!"

You just have to laugh. . .

Grandpa is lying in bed in a detox ward recovering from delirium tremens.
Johnny, his six year old grandson goes to the hospital with his Grandma to pay him a visit.
On entering the room, Johnny says to his Grandpa:
"Grandpa, Grandpa," he says excitedly, " as soon as Grandma comes into the room, make a noise like a frog!"
" What? Said Grandpa.
"Make a noise like a frog because Grandma said that as soon as you croak, we're going to Disneyland.

Monday, 26 May 2008

Wow. You have to read this.....the tablecloth.

True Story - submitted by Pastor Rob Reid.

A beautiful story....makes you understand that everything happens for a reason.

The brand new pastor and his wife, newly assigned to their first ministry, to reopen a church in suburban Brooklyn, arrived in early October excited about their opportunities. When they saw their church, it was very run down and needed much work. They set a goal to have everything done in time to have their first service On Christmas Eve. They worked hard, repairing pews, plastering walls,painting, etc, and on December 18th they were ahead of schedule and just about finished.

On December 19 a terrible tempest - a driving rainstorm hit the area and lasted for two days. On the 21st, the pastor went over to the church. His heart sank when he saw that the roof had leaked, causing a large area of plaster about 20 feet by 8 feet to fall off the front wall of the sanctuary just behind the pulpit, beginning about head high. The pastor cleaned up the mess on the floor, and not knowing what else to do but postpone the Christmas Eve service, headed home.

On the way he noticed that a local business was having a flea market type sale for charity so he stopped in. One of the items was a beautiful, handmade, ivory colored, crocheted tablecloth with exquisite work, fine colors and a Cross embroidered right in the center. It was just the right size to cover up the hole in the front wall. He bought it and headed back to the church.

By this time it had started to snow. An older woman running from the opposite direction was trying to catch the bus.. She missed it. The pastor invited her to wait in the warm church for the next bus 45 minutes later. She sat in a pew and paid no attention to the pastor while he got a ladder, hangers, etc., to put up the tablecloth as a wall tapestry.

The pastor could hardly believe how beautiful it looked and it covered up the entire problem area. Then he noticed the woman walking down the center aisle. Her face was like a sheet.. "Pastor," she asked, "where did you get that tablecloth?"
The pastor explained. The woman asked him to check the lower right corner to see if the initials, EBG were crochet into it there. They were. These were the initials of the woman, and she had made this tablecloth 35 years before, in Austria.

The woman could hardly believe it as the pastor told how he had just gotten the Tablecloth. The woman explained that before the war she and her husband were well-to-do people in Austria. When the Nazis came, she was forced to leave. Her husband was going to follow her the next week. He was captured, sent to prison and never saw her
husband or her home again.

The pastor wanted to give her the tablecloth; but she made the pastor keep it for the church. The pastor insisted on driving her home, that was the least he could do.. She lived on the other side of Staten Island and was only in Brooklyn for the day for a housecleaning job.

What a wonderful service they had on Christmas Eve. The church was almost full. The music and the spirit were great. At the end of the service, the pastor and his wife greeted everyone at the door and many said that they would return. One older man, whom the pastor recognized from the neighborhood continued to sit in one of the pews and stare, and the pastor wondered why he wasn't leaving.

The man asked him where he got the tablecloth on the front wall because it was identical to one that his wife had made years ago when they lived in Austria before the war and how could there be two tablecloths so much alike. He told the pastor how the Nazis came, how he forced his wife to flee for her safety and he was supposed to follow her, but he was arrested and put in a prison.. He never saw his wife or his home again all the 35 years in between.

The pastor asked him if he would allow him to take him for a little ride. They drove to Staten Island and to the same house where the pastor had taken the woman three days earlier. He helped the man climb the three flights of stairs to the woman's apartment, knocked on the door and he saw the greatest Christmas reunion he could ever imagine.

Sunday, 25 May 2008

Have you ever wondered what idiots looks like?

Well, wonder no more!


I wonder if they are still around!!! ?? what comes to mind....If MEN HAD BRAINS

One of those funnies you stumble upon on the internet....

While I was driving down the M1 the other day, (going a little faster than I should have been) I passed under a bridge only to see a policeman on the other side with a radar gun, lying in wait.
The policeman pulled me over, walked up to the car and with that classic, patronizing smirk, asked: 'Runway too short'?
To which I replied. 'I'm late for work'
To which he asked, 'What do you do?'
'I'm a rectum stretcher,' I responded.
The policeman was surprised and confused.
'A what'
'A rectum stretcher'
'and just what does a rectum stretcher do?'
'Well,' I said 'I start by inserting one finger then I work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four then with my whole hand in, work side to side until I can stretch and stretch and then I slowly but surely stretch the hole until it's about 6 feet'
Then the policeman asked questioningly and cautiously. 'And just what do you do with a six-foot arsehole?'
To which I politely replied, 'You give it a radar gun and park it behind a bridge...'

Speeding ticket: £105,
Court Costs: £45,
Look on copper's face: Priceless


An Interview With An 80-year-old Woman
The local news station was interviewing an 80-year-old lady
because she had just got married -- for the 4th time.

The interviewer asked her questions about her life, about
what it felt like to be marrying again at 80, and then about
her new husband's occupation.

"He's a funeral director," she answered.

"Interesting," the newsman thought. He then asked her if she
wouldn't mind telling him a little about her first 3
husbands and what they did for a living.

She paused for a few moments, needing time to reflect on all
those years. After a short time, a smile came to her face
and she answered proudly, explaining that she'd first
married a banker when she was in her early 20s, then a
circus ringmaster when in her 40s, later on a preacher when
in her 60s, and now in her 80s, a funeral director.

The interviewer looked at her, quite astonished, and asked
why she had married 4 men with such diverse careers.

She smiled and explained, "I married 1 for the money, 2
for the show, 3 to get ready, and 4 to go."

Saturday, 24 May 2008

One for Joanne Casey...Cheeky money

You've Got mail. . .

A couple from Minneapolis decided to go to Florida for a long weekend to thaw out during one particularly icy cold winter. They both had jobs, and had difficulty coordinating their travel schedules. It was decided the husband would fly to Florida on a Thursday, and his wife would follow him the next day. Upon arriving as planned, the husband checked into the hotel. There he decided to open his laptop and send his wife an e-mail back in Minneapolis. However, he accidentally left off one letter in her address and sent the e-mail without noticing his error.

In the mean time:
In Houston, a widow had just returned from her husband's funeral. He was a minister of many years who had been "called home to glory" following a heart attack (died and gone to report in heaven). The widow checked her e-mail, expecting messages from family and friends. Upon reading the first message, she fainted and fell to the floor. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor and saw the computer screen which read:

To: My loving Wife
From: Your Departed Husband
Subject: I've arrived!

I've just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then. Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.

P.S. Sure is hot down here.

Friday, 23 May 2008

HAVING A BAD DAY...Think again

Fire authorities in California found a corpse in a burned out section of forest while assessing the damage done by a forest fire. The deceased male was dressed in a full wet suit, complete with scuba tanks on his back, flippers, and face mask. A post-mortem revealed that the person died not from burns, but from massive internal injuries. Dental records provided a positive identification.

Investigators set about to determine how a fully clad diver ended up in the middle of a forest fire. It was revealed that on the day of the fire, the person went for a diving trip off the coast some 20 miles from the forest. The fire-fighters, seeking to control the fire as quickly as possible, called in a fleet of helicopters with very large dip buckets. Water was dipped from the ocean and then flown to the forest fire and emptied. You guessed it. One minute our diver was making like Flipper in the Pacific, the next he was doing the breast stroke in a fire dip bucket 300 feet in the air.

Apparently he extinguished exactly 5'10" of the fire. Some days it just doesn't pay to get out of bed - This article was taken from the California Examiner, March 20, 1998

Waaaaaaa haaaaaaaaa. . . ?


Thursday, 22 May 2008


Another good One passed on by my mate Andrea....You are a one....




And they say today woman are getting larger. . .

As a spectator of womans underwear I can see what they are saying in the poster.

As a woman its a whole big ball game. When you are young (teenager wa haaaaaa)you really don't care of what is in fashion. We were so nieve, un confident on what is best for us but what is best IN (at the time) being part of being hip n' being cool, being seen in and what we thought was sexy.

As you get older, fashion takes the back seat as we know what looks good for us. Feels COMFORTABLE especially. Talking to friends over the years and reminising on our fashion sense. The one thing that always comes up and we laugh is underwear how it either rode up, rode down or disappeared and needed retrieving (you know what I mean ladies)

Wednesday, 21 May 2008

Showing off...can be painful....

BET THEY REGREATED IT. . . owwwwwwwwwwch

THE BEST CAT VIDEO YOU'LL EVER SEE...great sound track to go with it..


In case you missed it on 60 Minutes, this is what Andy Rooney thinks about women over 40:. . And no gun was held up to his head....

60 Minutes Correspondent Andy Rooney (CBS)

As I grow in age, I value women over 40 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why:

A woman over 40 will never wake you in the middle of the night and ask, 'What are you thinking?' She doesn't care what you think.

If a woman over 40 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do, and it's usually more interesting.

Women over 40 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you if they think they can get away with it.

Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated.

Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 40.

Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 40 is far sexier than her younger counterpart.

Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off if you are a jerk, if you are acting like one. You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her.

Yes, we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed, hot woman over 40, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year old waitress. Ladies, I apologize.

For all those men who say, 'Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?', here's an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage. Why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!


P.S. . .AAH....but not all men are like this to those who ain't...We excuse you for being titled a Man. . .but Gent....x x x

Wedneday. . One for the girls....Enjoy... x x ( So...thats a boobies lunch box nowadays...) lol x x

OH MY. . .



Tuesday, 20 May 2008

One cute kitty.. . and great sound track to go with it.. .


XXX- Hot Pussy -XXX. . .Adult fun only. . Enjoy. . .

This is without a doubt one of the nicest good luck forwards I have received. . .There's some mighty fine advice in these words. . .

This has been sent To you for good luck from the Anthony Robbins organization.. It has been sent around the world ten times so Far. Do not keep this message to your self copy... paste pass it on and share this.

ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.

THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want

FOUR. When you say, 'I love you,' mean it.

FIVE. When you say, 'I'm sorry,' look the person in the eye.

SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.

SEVEN Believe in love at first sight.

EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dream. People who don't have dreams don't have much

NINE. Love deeply and passionately. Y ou might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.

TEN. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.

ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives.

TWELVE . Talk slowly but think quickly.

THIRTEEN. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, 'Why do you want to know?'

FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.

FIFTEEN. Say 'God bless you' when y ou hear someone sneeze.

SIXTEEN. When you lose, don't lose the lesson .

SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and Responsibility for all your actions.

EIGHTEEN. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.

NINETEEN. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it �

TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.

TWENTY-ONE. Spend some time alone to get to know who you are.

A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart.

Monday, 19 May 2008


Talk about the strangest of things that you stumble on when clicking on randum links..Does the second pic remind you of someone?. (see below)

Thank God I could have my dinner later than I wanted.


I'm not often left speechless which is not often to friends and family who now me well and ESPECIALLY SO TO THE BOYFRIEND, who loves the silence no doubt . . .lol x

ANS:David Guest. . (If he has any more plastic surgery. . . )

Sunday, 18 May 2008

Mickey Rourke's . . .What happened. . Why oh why

Reported in the papers today..quote:With the pressure to look young and beautiful a curse of fame, it's no wonder poor celebrities spend their hard-earned cash on the latest cosmetic enhancements.
But the perils of plastic surgery are hard to avoid; trout pouts, freeze-frame Botox jobs and cling film face lifts liable to scare those of a nervous disposition are just desserts for those who fall foul of the surgeon's scalpel.

How I have seen it as I have grown up, and now a Woman myself at that age where woman around me keep taking about Plastic surgery or that question...Would you have something done. Looking for approval that it is o-k to have plastic surgery. Me no way hoza...I do not give my opinion as I just do not believe in tampering with nature. (that's just me).

It has always been since time in memorial of woman wanting more to look good than Men. Plastic Surgery Wow...I bet some woman have never looked back in the quest of looking even better (they say). The Pill when first came out/available I have read often was a revolutionary in the woman's Independence. Before that burning of the Bra was significant to again woman's Independence..then the vote.

Woman we are resigned and use to seeing the extent of plastic surgery they are willing to go through, go for. For how long and what it takes for what they are striving for...their idea of perfection. Then the horror pictures of what has happened of years of plastic surgery, we are not at all surprised.

Plastic Surgery is a growing process...those who do go forth and have the guts (as I certainly don't)to go under the knife are doing it at their own peril. They are a Guinea pig, they are risking their lives and if this is what they truly believe is the answer or even makes them happy. I am the first to say good luck to them and certainly wouldn't stand in their way.

But the year 2008. . .MEN..YES MEN...are coming to light in the papers of years of plastic surgery too. Mickey Rourke Is one who I look at in the Paper and say WHY...WHY OH WHY...He has had so much work done his face is immovable. He’s been stretched tight and shot up apparently by some of the worst plastic surgeons.Having had his facial bones reconstructed and his skin pulled to the brink of protest apparently. Numerous chin implants, rhinoplastys, face lifts and lip implant ops later, this once-handsome ex-boxer looks like he’s gone through 12 rounds with Mike Tyson.

Years and years just looks to keep getting worse as Rourke tries to undo what’s been done with more surgery.

Saturday, 17 May 2008

The Growing process. . .

In Our teens we don't really think of the future, what is in store for us. Just that we have just left school and want to be recognised as AN ADULT.

One of our friends who turned 20 Years old we thought was OLD. (I remember that thought quite clearly). . When She came into college saying it was her birthday at the weekend. We were real happy for her especially since her family threw her a surprise party. But when she said "20". I did think wow she is old. . .Why no idea when I think about my reaction. Probably down to my maturity, probably because at that age of 16 we just do not look ahead.

On reaching 20 years old how that thought of being OLD just does not enter ones mind, but the plus side. By 20 I was driving for 3 years. 2 years of actually being taken serious in a pub in ordering and being served alcohol. I just could not be served until I really had reached that age to shove my birth certificate or driving license under their nose. Even then the bar staff would look closely in case of it being tampered with,along with giving me that odd stare with one of their eyes raised.

As for me, my height went against me as well as I JUST NEVER LOOKED MY AGE...(At that age HATED I love it that people do not believe my age). My birth certificate became a fixture in my purse as Night clubs was another place that just did not see me as being old enough. . My mates had a ball, as they were all either 2 or 3 years younger and got in without proof and I always had to prove. The Cinema. . (YES. . ) Going for an X rated was also a NO GO without my birth cert. . and I only loved horrors that I felt was worth queuing up for, for ages. (As we did in those days as there was no multi screens. .lucky if the cinema had 2 screens. One upstairs and one downstairs).

The rest of the 20's was an adventure to me. Pubbing and clubbing mainly. Learning from mistakes I could learn from and make again as I WAS YOUNG enough to learn from again and NOT REPEAT.

Thirty's well. . .It is great you know where you are at. What you want out of life and what you don't. What you will NEVER EVER DO AGAIN and YES WHAT YOU WOULDN'T MIND DOING AGAIN (nudge, nudge..wink

Forty's. . Have to get back to you on this one as I haven't quite got the hang of as yet. Still think and feel the same as my Thirty's really. I some times think..."NOW I AM FORTY FOUR + BURLY I SHOULD BE. . ." and then not giving it a second thought. As if it just does not feel like me and true to myself, why think I should be.

Friday, 16 May 2008

Thursday, 15 May 2008

A MUST SEE. . .Thanks to Andrea forwardin. .

Good Mornin...Good Morning...the sun has stopped shinning the Heavens broken its clouds. . .never mind. Enjoy this cheeky chappy Instead. . .


Ya haaaaaa Its Thursday. . .


From this. . .to the name of Beauty

Jodie Marsh
Talent always finds a way, but if you aint got any, there's nothing like getting your kit off to fast track your way to (in)fame(y).

We've honed in on the celebrity world's most shameless exhibitionists to give you the lowdown on those desperate attention grabbers who’ve made a mint displaying their bits to all and sundry, with only naked ambition and bare-faced cheek on their side.

Lovingly described by rival Jordan as having 'breasts like spaniels' ears' and 'a nose like a builder's elbow' (ouch!), Essex's most publicity-hungry bird Marsh shot to infamy wearing next to nothing in cheesy West End clubs.

I could not believe my eyes when I clicked on a link that said "people most famous for stripping off". I couldn't help but want a peek. To my shock the NOW picture of Jodie Marsh emerged...I thought no...some kind of joke photo touched up esp her boobs or Madam Tussauds wax dummy of her.

No it was really her now picture on yet another red carpet do. . .WELL THEY DO SAY BEAUTY IS IN THE EYE OF THE BEHOLDER....Shame this girl has changed with botox and fake boobs (she said she would never ever do o o o...and). If I had a choice I would have stuck with the spaniels' ears myself.

Normally I wouldn't give ole Jodie the time of day. As she claims to have GCSE up to her elbows and she does this for a living. Apparently she was bullied badly at school and SHE says this is her way at getting back at her bullies. I bet her Bullies are still laughing even now...!!!

If these woman look like this in their late 20's OH MY GOD...WHAT ABOUT THEIR 40'S....I shudder to think.

Wednesday, 14 May 2008

Appreciate what you have

One day . . . a wealthy family man took his son on a trip to the country, so he could have his son see how poor country people live.

They stayed one day and one night in the home of a very humble farmer. At the end of the trip, and when they were back home, the father asked his son, "What did you think of the trip?"

The son replied, "Very nice dad."

Then the father asked his son, "Did you notice how poor they were?"

The son replied, "Yes."

The father continued asking, "What did you learn?"

The son responded, "I learned that we have one dog in our house, and they have four.

Also, we have a fountain in our garden, but they have a stream that has no end.

And we have imported lamps in our garden . . . where they have the stars!

And our garden goes to the edge of our property. But they have the entire horizon as their back yard!"

At the end of the son's reply the father was speechless.

His son then said, "Thank you dad for showing me how poor we really are."

Isn't it true that all depends on the lens you use to see life?

One can ask himself what would happen if we give thanks for what we have instead of always asking for more.

Learn to appreciate what you have. Wealth is all in one's point of view.

Tuesday, 13 May 2008

I Love ya!

One day a woman's husband died, and on that clear, cold morning, in the warmth of their bedroom, the wife was struck with the pain of learning that sometimes there isn't anymore.

No more hugs, no more special moments to celebrate together, no more phone calls just to chat, no more "just one minute." Sometimes, what we care about the most gets all used up and goes away, never to return before we can say good-bye, say "I love you."

So while we have it, it's best we love it, care for it, fix it when it's broken and heal it when it's sick. This is true for marriage . and old cars.. and children with bad report cards, and dogs with bad hips, and aging parents and grandparents. We keep them because they are worth it, because we are worth it. Some things we keep -- like a best friend who moved away or a classmate we grew up with. There are just some things that make us happy, no matter what.

Life is important, like people we know who are special. and so, We keep them close!

I received this from someone who thought I was a 'keeper'! Then I sent it to the people I think of in the same way. Now it's your turn to send this to all those people who are "keepers" in your life.

Suppose one morning you never wake up, do all your friends know you love them?

I was thinking...I could die today, tomorrow or next week, and I wondered if I had any wounds needing to be healed, friendships that needed rekindling or three words needing to be said.

Let every one of your friends know you love them. You would be amazed at what those three little words and a smile can do.

And just in case GOD calls me home .....


Live today to the fullest because tomorrow is not promised

Thailand. . Intelligence over beauty. . .

Ain't it amazing how this funny true story reads
Bangkok, Thailand

Apparently a member of the ruling junta who oversees Thai Airways International has ordered the carrier to hire more-attractive stewardesses.

"We have received a lot of complaints that our air hostesses are not pretty enough, too old and unsmiling," Air Chief Marshal Kaset Rojananil said.

In an interview published in "The Nation", the airline has been hiring too many college-educated women, he said, adding: "Intelligent women tend not to be good looking." CAN YOU IMAGINE THIS BEING THE REASON. . AMAZIN OR WHAT..


Monday, 12 May 2008

Back for now. .Error message BX-h32KJ6.Permitting...what is it, why is it?

MONDAY, MONDAY....SO GOOD TO BE BACK ON ME OLE BLOGG. . Hasn't the weather been just great, this past weekend. Though I didn't get too excited what with the way the weather has been performing of late.

Monday and the weather is still holding out ya haaaaaaaaaaa. Does this mean it could be the start of Our Summer at long last. X X X

Friday, 9 May 2008

Happy Friday. .A good Weekend. . . X X

Hirr. . Andrea. . Having probs at the moment with my blogg. Error message keeps coming up on me. Doing this one ASAP and hope for the Best.

Anyone out there. . Help Error message is BX-h32KJ6....what is it, why is it?